Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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