I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Randomize
