how can u be prego again
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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