the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
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i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
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It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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