i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
