i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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