I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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