if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
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Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
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I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I am available for nakedness
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
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