Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
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