Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
