Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
