Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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