when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
