She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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