he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
well you can't waste a boner
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
