Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
