babies were throwing up all over the place
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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