See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
be right there i have to get my cape
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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