just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
