This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
