My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
