Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
