therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
