it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
