The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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