I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
