the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
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Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
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she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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