omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
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