I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
