I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!