Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
