If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
