it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
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