Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
The power of my boobs compel you
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Randomize
