What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
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