Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
