We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
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