At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
