He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize
