We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
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