I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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