Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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