I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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