Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
