there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
