You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
