Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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