i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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