They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
