...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
