You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Randomize
