I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Randomize
