Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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