so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
