Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize