If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
