so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I take back everything I said about communal showers
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Randomize
