Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
