You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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