real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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