Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Randomize
